These Days

Blah. That's how I feel. Tired, achy, no energy, no motivation, very little patience, starting to wonder how I am going to muster any patience once a newborn is added to the mix, sore legs, sore joints, puffy feet and hands, wide, running out of maternity clothes that fit, afraid I'm going to fall at my midwife's feet and beg for assistance tomorrow, grumpy, snappy, feeling inadequate, moody...blah.

Longing for the baby in my arms, the strawberries to come, the red raspberries to bloom, the kids to see their new brother or sister, to be taken care of, to be encouraged to nap during the day, to sleep on my stomach, to see my feet, to clip my own toe nails, to nurse, to learn the gender of the baby, to speak his/her name, to feel waters break, to push, to count fingers and toes, to be able to hold the bigger kids on my lap, to let my body heal...longing.

These are the ups and downs I experience several times each day. And, yes, I know that the hormone surges don't end when the baby is born. So, I pray. I try to give it all up. I ask for strength and patience. I ask for forgiveness, for stamina, for mercy. And I detect a glimmer of peace while I wait...peace. Pin It