Yesterday, while gathering some herbs outside, I almost came to tears. I love this time of year. The air is cooler but the sun is still warm. The sky is a crystal clear blue. The Mourning Cloak butterflies are almost everywhere I look. I can wear shorts and a sweatshirt. The garden is winding down and we fall into a school routine.
I think the reason I am so emotional about this season this year is that I completely missed it last year. Last year, everything I normally would have enjoyed at this point was hideously tainted by morning, noon, and night sickness. I couldn't enjoy the weather, the late harvests, the first few months of first grade with Sam. I was miserable and because of that, I am so much more thankful for this season, this late summer, this early fall.
I was outside gathering herbs because I did not want to forget to gather them. I went without freezing any last year because last year I couldn't have cared less. I also didn't freeze any chard like I had planned to last year because I couldn't have cared less. This year I care. This year I am loving this time of year and I don't want to miss a second of it.
Two short hours later...
I was almost in tears again. This time because a batch of rolls I had made for company coming the following day were over-baked, too over-baked to serve. This time because Sam and Sadie were fighting incessantly- they were bored, hungry, wanting to be entertained and I was in no mood to entertain.
Miriam was crying and I was trying to walk her to sleep but she couldn't fall asleep (who could?) with all the refereeing and scolding (okay, yelling) I was doing at the other two. This time because in the midst of all this I was imagining Jamey on his peaceful hour drive home from school as he sat, alone in his car, listening to music, enjoying the crystal clear blue sky.
Oh, the ups and downs of being at home...and being alive.
This time of year is my favorite, too. I feel like I can breath again. I think I need to do like you and gather some herbs today. I was going to wash up flower pots in prep for bringing plants indoors but that can wait. Do you freeze all of your herbs? I dry all mine, guess just out of habit. Are there certain ones that are far better frozen?
ReplyDeleteI hated it when experienced moms said. "Enjoy even the fussy days because before you know it they'll be "flying the coop".
ReplyDeleteA mom and grandma, Aunt V.
This is hands down my favorite time of year as well.....I LOVE IT! I simply love it.
ReplyDeleteZoe,
ReplyDeleteI freeze basil and parsley only. I freeze them loosely in containers versus bags because I think they stay separated better that way. I chop them still frozen and throw them in when fresh herbs are called for- I think they hold a freshness (even once frozen) that dried herbs don't have.
Aunt V,
I agree. I know one day I'll miss them to pieces, but I will not miss the frustration and the guilt that sometimes comes along with it.
Dare I say...this too shall pass?
ReplyDeleteYou say it well---it's not easy!
ReplyDeleteI'm also so jealous of the car time chris gets to have. AND he gets to talk to people!
ReplyDeleteHang in there...one day at a time...moment by moment! I do get it, I have four children and I do remember those days, but it is sadly true that you look back with rose coloured glasses and wish them back again! Crazy, but true. Try to enjoy it...take a moment out to pray(even with your apron over your head which a godly Mom of years gone by did...she had 12 children, I think)! Be encouraged, you are NOT alone! :)
ReplyDeleteCamille,
ReplyDeleteI love the apron-over-the-head-to-pray image. I need to start wearing one. Thanks:-).
I'm smiling! :)
ReplyDeleteBTW...it was Susanna Wesley...the Mom I spoke of. She was the mother of John and Charles Wesley...godly men from the late 1700's I believe.
When my oldest children were small, I was offered a job teaching at a university 90 minutes away (once a week). I jumped at the opportunity to drive alone with my own thoughts and my own music. Don't know if it was responsible but it felt like survival.
ReplyDelete