Parenting has it's challenges. The constant refereeing, repeating one's self, wondering if you are doing things correctly, saying things in the right way. It can get quite overwhelming if we dwell on the complexities of it all too much.
But on the other hand, you have the moments when you can't imagine your life without these other little beings. You wonder who you would be if it weren't for them, if they hadn't come into your life and changed you so completely.
I find myself in awe of my kids most days. The way these little people construct their sentences, the way their little faces distort into such raw emotion, flitting from surprise to fear to utter loss when another has picked up their lego creation or disturbed the arrangement of their plastic animals. I catch myself on the verge of laughter at times. Not laughter at them but out of astonishment over who they are and are becoming.
In particular, is Miriam.
Seven and a half months old and as sweet as pie. With sugar on top. She talks to me, you know. A jibber-jabber of da-das and ma-mas and ba-bas. I know what she's saying. She's saying, "Where are those big kids?" as we emerge from her room after her nap. She's saying, "Carry me around a little bit longer, Mama, please?" She nuzzles into my neck, hugs me and gives me open-mouth kisses on my cheeks and chin. She smacks her lips after nursing and helps me carry whatever else I'm carrying when she's on my hip. She stares into my eyes, looking at her reflection in them. She pants like a little puppy when she's happy or excited and squeals as I clap my hands before picking her up.
She is my joy. I am overwhelmed with love.
This is the kind of love I believe our heavenly Father has for each of us, only intensified beyond our comprehension. It almost makes me feel uncomfortable to imagine that someone could love me this much. It's the love a parent feels- unconditional, I'm-with-you-no-matter-what kind of love.
To imagine that God loves my children even more than I will ever be capable of understanding just blows me away.
And makes me so very happy.
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Friday, January 29, 2010
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Your descriptions of Miriam are perfect. It makes me miss my own babies and their open-mouthed kisses.
ReplyDeleteAnd grandbabies are still a good fifteen years away...
raw emotion...you said it.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog by accident after following a link from the "Little Homestead in the City." I have been reading your blog over the last few weeks and it has been such a breath of fresh air! I live in the suburbs and grew up in the suburbs but in my heart I feel like a "little farmer." I taught myself how to make jam and then process fruit (haven't used a pressure cooker yet for meat/veggies) but I find such satisfaction in it...all those jars glistening in the sun. :) I am a stay at home mom who dreams of someday growing all the veggies for my family, having fresh eggs from my own chickens, and maybe a family cow. So, thank you for sharing your life with us. It is an inspiration. :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post! Oh yes, it is unfathomable how much HE loves us! And remember ~ If we are truly His children, then He first loved us...and there is nothing we can to do make Him love us more or less! Ponder that truth for awhile ~ it is truly amazing!
ReplyDeleteWelcome, Mrs. PK:-).
ReplyDeleteHappy Days, in deed!
ReplyDeleteYou said it so well, somedays the complexities are just too much, then you get those moments, ... those precious moments, thanks for the reminder of God's blessing of Fatherhood.
Have a delightfully full weekend of Miriam & family.