Here's the thing.

{I wrote this post back in the fall.  As always, these are my own personal opinions and thoughts.  They may not be yours and that is okay (obviously). Thank you, dearies, for understanding my need to write it as I see it.}

Every once in awhile, I try to be a fun mom.  I break out of our routine and try to do something with my kids that I don't normally do, but that lots of other moms do.  You know, something that my kids would think was fun.  It's not the actual fun I'm opposed to.  It's just that those types of activities go against my grain, I'm sorry to say.   

This past summer, my "fun mom" thing was 'smores and glow sticks.  When we'd have friends over in the evening and darkness came calling, we'd roast marshmallows and I'd hand out glow sticks to the kids.  The glow sticks ended up being a great (cheap) night time activity for them and a great way for the grownups to keep track of little people in the dark.

But summer is over.  So, the other day a friend called and invited us to go to a pumpkin-patch-activity-center with her and her daughter.  Some other families were possibly going to go as well.  They weren't going until afternoon.  School would be finished by then, so I said yes.  I don't do things like this very often and thought maybe I should.  It would be sociable of me and I knew the kids would enjoy it.  Yes, this was me trying to convince myself that I should try the fun-mom route once again.

Well, none of the friends ended up being able to come but I didn't get this message until later that evening.  I gathered it when none of them had arrived a half hour after our meeting time.  Even so, I forked over the cash ($23, mercy me) and we headed inside.  Did I mention that the $23 included a wagon ride to the pumpkin patch but did not include the cost of actually getting pumpkins at the patch?  I'm pretty thrifty and try to use my money wisely, but I was not about to take my kids on a wagon ride to a pumpkin patch only to tell them we weren't buying any pumpkins.  Are you kidding me? 

The kids had fun.  They rode on a carousal, went down a big tube slide, used a big sling shot, looked at some animals, played on some playground equipment, and went on the wagon ride to pick out pumpkins.  While the kids were having fun, I enjoyed their enjoyment but inside I was confused.  It all just seemed unnatural to me.  I am in no way trying to disparage this particular establishment.  They exist because people evidently really like settings like these.

I get the pumpkin patch.  For families that live in the city or don't have room to plant pumpkins, I get it.  And, I get the animals, even though they didn't all live in stellar conditions which made me a little sad.  I felt especially badly for the pigs.  They hold pig races throughout the day and we were there during one of them.  Two sets of five pigs at a time were lined up in chutes (like racing horses) and then were released to run through a short course.  The winner got half an apple.  We were assured that all were properly fed whether they won or not.  The sad part was that once they were released onto the grass track, several of them just started rooting to their hearts content.  They preferred rooting to racing for half an apple because they're pigs and that's what pigs do.  I doubted there was much rooting going on in the little wooden pig shack they are housed in when not racing.

But, I digress.

It just struck me how as a society we long to be entertained.  We want the activity without the effort.  We want others to do the fun for us so all we have to do is show up.  And when the fun we show up for is so planned and concocted, we end up experiencing what someone else thinks we should think is fun.  And we fall for it!

I have to ask.  Do we decide to do something just because the kids like it?  Is this our only standard? If so, what's to keep us from letting them play video games and eat candy all day?  They would enjoy it.  Do we want to teach them that liking something should be the only deciding factor in whether or not they participate in an activity?  I'm not saying they should never have fun, but I want my kids to be critical thinkers when they grow up.  This might mean showing them how to make choices even if they are unpopular or uncommon.

Calm down, there, Jane.  Deep breath.

Did I regret going?  No.  Will we be going back?  Probably not.  Even though it takes a little planning and some added energy on my part, I'd rather create our own fun based on what I know we think of as fun and worthy activities.  This may include inviting friends over for a bonfire while the grown ups visit and the kids run around.  Or, raking leaves and jumping in the piles followed by apple cider.  Or, going for a hike through the changing leaves, or inviting friends over to make a small batch of applesauce and then eating it together, warm.

These activities nurture relationships and invoke an enjoyment of an undoctored creation.  And they cost little to nothing. 

Sometimes, living simply is living real.  Fun mom or not, it is the real that I gravitate toward. Pin It